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My hair stories

Ebb and the flow

 

When I was a young child I loved my hair just as it was I thought it was beautiful I remember the first time I was made to feel as though my hair was not what society believes is beautiful or right I was in 3rd grade I was playing at the playground right down the street from my house I was playing with a little girl named Monique I was running and playing when I stopped Monique asked me “why doesn’t your hair grow?” I just looked at her confused then she said” you guy’s hair doesn’t grow” my feelings were hurt I didn’t even understand why.

I remember feeling confused was she right? The next time was also in third grade my mother had just put long beautiful braids into my hair it took hours, and I loved it I felt beautiful when I got to school everyone had something to say grabbing and touching my hair my body pinching the end of my braid saying things like can you feel this? why is your hair fake? why can’t you just have normal hair? It’s too different

Again, I was made to feel as though my hair was wrong or bad too different, for some reason “I have bad hair” was the message I was receiving even though I left my house feeling proud of my hair I returned feeling embarrassed about my hair.

Again and again, I am told my hair is wrong or bad or too different I am 40 years old, and I am still fighting against the idea that black hair is bad the messaging is confusing on one hand you are told to love yourself and God made you just the way he wanted, and he does not make mistakes but…. I was too differently hair was too different. When you are a child because the last thing you want is to be different.

The thing about it all is I am different I am different than anyone else as a kid that’s a hard fact to process everyone is fighting against the idea that they are different from each other we look different our hair texture is different we think differently and it’s okay I try really hard to teach my girls it’s okay to be different I tell them all the things that make them different are the beauty marks we all have beauty marks.

When I look in the mirror at my hair and I feel beautiful I remember that little girl and I tell you are beautiful and different and the only person I need to convince of this fact is ME. Now let’s go find some beauty marks.

I have to remind myself every day and I will continue to remind myself my difference are my beauty marks and beauty marks are Gorgeous 💕